Acceptance?

I am confused. I muted some of the body positivity pages I was following on  Instagram. I get the irony. The problem simply is – I don’t know where the middle ground is and if there should in fact be any middle ground. I know this is controversial for a second post and please know that I mean no harm to anyone and I am completely aware that my thinking may be faulty or ignorant, in which case you are free to educate me if you like. But how much acceptance is too much? I realize how flawed the system is because this acceptance- however much there is, has just now come after years and years of self denial. And now I can look at a picture, spot my double chin, recognise it somewhere as my face and be semi-satisfied. But as soon as this came the food I and chose not to feel guilty about eating also increased. I do not know if this is good or bad. But I was losing or in the process of losing weight and now I have somewhere stagnated, hopefully not gained. But then again I have fallen off the wagon previously too. I am now very confused about what exactly that incorporates because the Instagram pages told me that I could eat carbs and junk and anything I felt like, that my body would find it’s balance and that healthy has been weaponized to hurt us, to deny us, to blame us and to of course- shame us. Which it has. I eat healthier than most of my thin friends. I am not a brand ambassador for clean eating and cannot post Instagram posts doing yoga but my diet is relatively decent. But I cannot deny the fact that fat people are at risk of so much- heart disease, diabetes, hypertension- a fact used as an excuse to persecute fat people. If you are reading this and find me one of the millions of other voices that is debilitating and ignorantly defaming, please stop reading and know that you are reading the words of a young idiot who is trying to voice her confusion honestly because she can’t make sense of her fatness and what to do with it. My will power is weak when it comes to food, I do not particularly like to exercise. But these are only two shortcomings, I have plenty of strengths. I am kind, funny, intelligent, loyal, attractive- and I know these do not make up for the gluttony because they are all separate things- but how do I go e about things now? Eat whatever I like and trust myself- having already faltered majorly in the past, or to be a part of this diet culture promising health?